An article for Times Wellness

“Losing one’s eye sight is a small limitation, if you are determined to succeed…”

…says visually challenged Charudatta Jadhav who has climbed the Himalyas and also represented India at several International chess competitions

Deepti Khanna

Posted On Friday, December 04, 2009

“It all began in 1980 when I was 13 years old. When I got up one fine morning I could only see sparks similar to that of lightening from my left eye. I shut my eyes tightly and opened them again, splashed water and tried every trick in the book but to no avail. We rushed to a doctor to know that I had lost my vision from my left eye due to retinal detachment,” says Charudatta Jadhav, whose attitude, determination and list of achievements are sure to put any sighted person to shame. From climbing the Himalyas to representing India at several International chess competitions to authoring chess books to developing softwares for making life easier for the blind, Charudatta Jadhav has done it all.

“For the first six months I was extremely depressed to say the least. I was shocked when the doctors further suggested that I should stop attending school, as my vision could weaken further due to the strain reading could put on my right eye. I stayed at home for six long months and became a complete loner. One day I decided to come out of this and informed my parents that I needed to go to school again.

Initially my parents were a little reluctant but they changed their minds and were supportive once they realized how keen I was to continue my education. My parents were illiterate and understood that it was education that could help me better my life. However, as soon as I resumed school in June 1981 my father lost his job as a mill worker. I then had to face the challenge of working part time as a telephone operator and attending school,” states Jadhav, a Dahisar resident, who now lives with this wife and 13-year-old daughter.

Jadhav says his initial days were difficult but fellow students and teachers were supportive so studying in the normal school was not so much of a problem. “I was always made to sit on the first bench and my classmates were helpful by sharing all their notes with me.”

But life once again threw up another unexpected challenge when Jadhav lost vision from his right eye too. “In 1987 the same episode took place with my right eye and I lost my eye sight completely. Back then there were very little facilities available for patients like us and retinal detachment could not be treated. I underwent two operations in 1987 and 1994 at Shankar Netralaya in Chennai but it was not of any help in my case.”

Before Jadhav graduated in 1989 in the Arts stream with Economics as his majors, he happened to attend a camp organised by National Association for Blind (NAB) that proved beneficial. “At the camp I came across blind people who were pursuing higher degrees like MPhil which really motivated me. I was taught Braille and at the same time got to know of the facilities the blind could use to take their exams and move ahead in life. I was told that the blind could have readers, writers for our exams, record books in form of audio cassettes for studying without straining my eyes. This helped me a lot in the long run,” shares Jadhav.

Despite the limitation, Jadhav slowly realised that education in IT would give him a lucrative job. So he took up higher studies without being afraid of taking risks. “I quit my secure bank job and completed a Master’s degree in Computer Application, an MBA and advance certifications in software programming and network security. At every juncture I was reminded by people that these courses are difficult even for a sighted person so it was out of question that I would succeed. But I did what I felt was right and am right now working with Tata Consultancy Services (TCS) as an Associate Consultant,” says Jadhav, who is also the proud recipient of the National Award for Best Disabled Employee of the year 2006 from the then President of India Dr APJ Abdul Kalam.

The mind game…

“A little before 1985 I got on to playing chess. The fact that this was the only game in which I could compete with a sighted person without any modifications in the game attracted me towards it. Then came 1985, which was a crucial year in my life. In this year I gained a lot of self confidence as in a small chess competition I stood first despite being the only blind participant. It was in this year I felt yes I can achieve and do well in life. Then gradually I went ahead and won several district, state, national and international chess competitions.”

A few years later in 1998, Jadhav first participated in the International Blind Chess Championship at Czech Republic followed by competitions in Ireland, Spain and Poland. Till date, Jadhav has represented India in the International Blind Chess Championship nine times, has won two international championships and bagged four national championships. From 2000-2004, he was also the captain of the Indian team for blind chess players.

“It was at the international competitions that I realized the advantage foreign participants enjoy because of better training and technological advancements. I then decided to provide professional Indian blind players with the same kind of technological support and training,” says Jadhav. He then went about authoring a remarkable book called Spanish Opening for the blind who could play chess and wanted to improve their gaming skills. He also converted the book into digital format so that it could be played and heard on a computer or an audio player. After Spanish Opening he also authored books like My Tribute to Bobby Fischer, Anand, the Indian Chess Genius, Basic Opening Traps, Anand, The undisputed world Chess Champion, 555 Modern Opening Traps and Kasprov Vs Anand WCC 1995.

Developing softwares

Combining his passion for chess and his work, Jadhav has gone ahead and developed Talk 64, a first-of-its-kind chess training and gaming software that helps the blind improve their gaming skills independently. This software was launched during the 11^th Individual world chess championship for the blind held in 2006. He has also created a model for chess in schools for the blind and also introduced the concept of a Global Chess Library, Online digital library and an Online Training Portal.

His other technological initiatives include developing a screen reader for windows, a navigational system for Mumbai that will help blind people move independently in the city. He is also in the process of developing a pocket reader, a mobile software that will help blind persons to read any print material. “After office hours and on weekends I love developing softwares and meeting people and spreading the word that even blind people can live life independently. I meet people at corporate houses and other establishments and have taken it up as a social responsibility to help blind people like me.”

Himalayan expedition

“In March 1992 I successfully scaled peak Shitidhar, which stands at a height of 17,220 feet. Two months of intense training and practice went behind making this project a success. In fact, in 1985 and 1986 I had a lot of professional trekker friends who encouraged me to develop this hobby and would take me to various forts in Maharashtra. So I started gaining confidence. Later I completed a 15-day long trekking camp that proved to be beneficial and helped me achieve this. With this I just wanted to prove that losing eye sight is just a small limitation that one can overcome it if he/she is determined,” concludes Jadhav.

Charudatta Jadhav was awarded a Positive health award on November 11 at the St Andrews Auditorium, Bandra. This award was presented by Dr Batra's Positive Health Clinic Pvt. Ltd.

Bhimbetka Caves: Glorious heritage

By Deepti Khanna

Posted On Wednesday, November 11, 2009 at 05:00:29 PM

They say if you don't know where you come from, you don't know where you are going. A trip to Bhimbetka Caves does just that for you. With rock paintings depicting how life evolved for prehistoric man and UNESCO declaring this place as one of the 24th world heritage sites, a trip to Bhimbetka Caves in Madhya Pradesh is both insightful and enjoyable Getting back to Basics Bhimbetka Caves are located 46 kms South of Bhopal in Madhya Pradesh. Spread over an area of 886 sq kms, the Bhimbetka Caves were discovered in 1957-58 by Dr Vishnu Shridhar Wakankar. These caves are surrounded by the northern limits of Vindhya Mountain Range. Out of the 750 rock shelters about 500 are adorned with paintings. It took around 16 years to excavate the entire area covered by these caves. Only 12 caves are open for tourists at the moment, but they show you all the important and clear paintings that are present. Out of the 24 world heritage sites that have been recognised by UNESCO in India, Bhimbetka Caves are said to be the oldest one. The site is said to have remained the centre of human activity right from the lower Palaeolithic times (12,000 BP around 2.5 million years ago) to as recent as medieval period. The paintings here are believed to be similar to the aboriginal rock paintings in the outback of Australia, the cave paintings of the Bushmen in Kalahari Desert and the Palaeolithic Lascaux cave paintings in France. Mythological Importance As the legend goes, these hills got their name after Lord Bhima, one of the five Pandava brothers. It is said that Lord Bhima came and sat on these caves during their days of exile. The name 'Bhim-betka' literally means 'where Bhim sat down'. Work of Art Most paintings at Bhimbetka caves throw light on the evolution of life. The paintings attributed to the earlier years are rudimentary that are similar to the warli paintings of Maharashtra. Initial paintings are mostly a representation of animals seen in their area. The paintings were done in natural red and white pigments, which were made using flowers and leaves. As time passed the paintings are seen to get more artistic, curvy and real. Despite the colours being made many years ago they are remarkably clear even today. The paintings made during recent years also show human activities like hunting, drinking, dancing, child-birth and burials. The oldest paintings are believed to be 12,000 years old whereas some of the geometric figures date as recently as the medieval period. Getting There You can visit Bhimbetka caves throughout the year though March to July is considered the best time to be there. Accommodation options are limited near the caves, but Bhopal is only 46 kms away and you can get some good hotels of different budgets. Bhopal is well connected by flights, railways from Mumbai. From Bhopal you could take a taxi or a bus to the caves. The drive should not take you more than an hour. Make sure you spare an entire day for the excursion as more is definitely less when it comes to spending time at this world heritage site. (Pic: Deepti Khanna)

My Mumbai trip...

I went to Mumbai recently. And came back with such a strange feeling. The home, that was mine didn’t really feel like my own. The office where I worked, befriended people, etc, was not my own either. I am shocked, scared and simply refuse to digest that in a month’s time everything has changed, so drastically. I feel so disoriented. I mean Pune, is nice, very good. But I somehow prefer maintaining a distance and so I do not feel a sense of belonging for any place... It’s all so strange

Men are from Mars...

Why can’t men ever understand us? I mean we just need some attention and it’s the small pleasures of life that matter. A message, small gifts, an email or just an I love you can mean soooo much. If not really, pretending is so simple. After all, you can always fake it, till you make it.

Coping with the change

We all know things change. But of late there have been too many changes in my life. Along with my relationship status, my relation with many people, my lifestyle, my stand on certain things, the way I wanted my future to shape up and the person around whom my world revolves has changed. And all this is changing at a pace I am trying hard to keep up with. Suddenly there are some thirty people who call me bhabhi, several who expect me to behave in a certain fashion. It’s a little difficult, a little disorienting. But to look at all this differently, there is someone who is like an anchor to your life. He is there when I wish, helps me take decisions, is available when I am stressed or worried and at that the end also ensures that the relation is not consuming me. Life’s all about balance and I am certainly looking at balancing my life and his, my career and his and together reaching great heights, both professionally and personally.

Just a thought

Just feeling like writing. The inherent feeling of typing random thoughts, playing with words, typing and then thinking (did I spill out my trade secret), forgetting about being a journalist and just having a tete-a-tete with the little girl inside me that refuses to die, stop, grow. Hmmm. You know the feeling of letting go all efforts to make sense, writing with brevity, obeying rules and regulations as mentioned in the Bible Wren and Martin or juggling with words. All those who are writers by choice will identify with me. Why do we always want to talk or write sense? Can't we just write nonsense? If there is so much of nonsense, emptiness around us, in our minds always, why, why, do we run after meaning or worthiness? Why do we have to be sane? Always? Just letting go is a good idea. The feeling of being happy, satisfied, thankful for whatever we have, basically to stop, assess, know where we are before moving ahead. Once in the rat race we forget what we are getting, what are we working with and where we began and what was our aim while starting?

I love Lahiri

I just read - A Temporary Matter - the first story in Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri. Strange, how a man and wife need darkness to help strike the same level of intimacy, love and affection, they once shared. Strange, but true. Very often it’s a problem or darkness that unites people. A scheduled power cut encourages a couple – Shoba and Shukumar to talk (initially, just to kill time, the duo starts playing a game similar to the truth and dare we played in college) but that later gets them not only arouse the physical fondness for each other, but also gets them breaking the ice and talking about the biggest sorrow they encountered a few months back (Shoba delivering a stillborn child). It is this darkness that gets them together, saves their marriage from breaking and brings the marital bliss back in their lives.
I love Lahiri’s detailing, the way Shukumar simply admires the way Shoba has done the kitchen or the way Shukumar looks for the candle in the kitchen cabinet. Also, I loved her choice of words, concentrating on the emotions and putting everything so simply, while the reader can imagine, identify with or even befriend the lovely couple.

A Journey

So much to say; so much to narrate. It’s been ages since I wrote for myself. Since I wrote my heart out and experimented while writing my kind of stuff. Firstly, came his engagement. Then, all the emotional setback, days of crying, suicidal thoughts (hate myself for this), dark hours and frustration. Then came fun time with friends – who stood by me – understood how difficult it was getting and that I needed help, company and words of reassurance. The pyjama parties, crying on my friends’ shoulders (while trying to keep a straight face at home), gifting every friend who was there, tête-à-tête with bossji, et al. Then came a sunny day (agreed it was a particular afternoon in the month of May, but still don’t know if the event is positive enough to be called sunny) when my mom asked me to fill a matrimonial form. Describe yourself, your qualification and partner expectations! As if getting married is someone’s sole ambition in life. As far as I know it’s instinctive just like Anshul says (and the reason why it did not work for us). After thinking enough I know that it’s not for me as of now and can be thought of a few (or many) years later, because I do not think I want to change myself for anyone. It’s career before that, professional heights to scale and soar!

Death with chocolate!

I so want to have a Sizzling Brownie with Ice cream. Sounds umm, isn’t it? I long to have that special rendezvous with the wooden sizzling oval-shaped platter, done up with the glittery silver aluminum foil containing a freshly baked, dark brown brownie, with generous portions of half-grounded walnuts; two scoops of vanilla and chocolate ice cream on it and hot chocolate sauce precariously spread over it. And not to forget the long stemmed spoon and a small cup of piping hot chocolate sauce that usually accompanies it. Pop Tates and Cream Centre are good bets. They are good places to enjoy this variation of the Food of Gods. Or may be, enjoy the dessert in the privacy of my living room, with false ceiling lights, candles and ivory walls around. And the miniature water fall on the glass side table to keep me company. The transparent water splashing on the stone and changing its colour each time it hits a new stone, only adds to the divine experience. As and when my teeth cut into the soft, spongy cake, dipped with ice cream, I cannot but say ummm… Reminds me of Preity Zinta having Belgium Dark Chocolate Ice cream in Salaam Namaste! I just cannot help make orgasmic sounds while relishing this dessert. I really wonder who invented this dish and had the heart to share the recipe with others!
He definitely deserves to earn some precious brownie points for the feat.

A 'lovely' union

I touched him. Took him in my arms – my love. Loved his feel. My hands went all over his body. Loved fingering him, his clothes. Slowly I undressed him and felt him again. Went still closer and loved his smell. I smiled to him. Was happy to be united. Again. I just could not stop smiling. After so many nights of separation, we were together. Just he and me. And a candle beside ‘us’. In my room. The pink curtains in my purple walled room fluttered and moved recklessly where the winds took them. The windy night decided their course. And love decided ours.
Time simply passed. With each passing second, the love, passion, insanity grew. The candle beside us melted. Drop by drop as the paraffin droplets fell, the flame got bigger, brighter. And so did the concern and care in our hearts. I could not tolerate one scratch or bruise on him.
He was mine after all. My favourite book that I owned for that day and forever.

WOW

* Each time I enjoy a chocolate
* When I get the feeling of being in love
* Every time I turn a rather prosaic story idea into something worthwhile
* Whenever I sub and turn a dead story into a nice piece of writing
* Get a compliment from people who matter
* Whenever I have a stimulating, hot cup of coffee (Double entendre intended here)
* When I learn a new word and get to use it
* Whenever I see some fat sum in my bank account
* Menstruate minus stomach ache
* Notice a sexy guy checking me out (Happens rarely though!)
* And each night I enjoy hours and hours of undisturbed sleep (But don’t mind being disturbed once a while)

Life sucks!

I hate this. The feeling of vacuum, not doing anything worthwhile, wasting myself and having the time but not the right opportunity for doing what I loved. Yesterday tried to attend a meditation workshop, it did not happen. The other day, I picked up my favourite colours – fuschia, yellow and turquoise blue but could not draw anything worthwhile to use them. I tried going to shop, could not fit into anything I found sexy! Tried to read, scanned the papers, books, blogs, hated them again! My favourite songs also fail to arrest my attention for long.

Fuck, I feel I’ll die like this. Nothing to do, no friend to be with, no guy in my life and nothing to feel happy about! This is so painful and I hate myself.

Her first love…

(Fiction)

She hugs him. He kisses her on her forehead and says he always liked her but could not sum up the courage to tell her his feelings. They both hold each other’s hand and sit on a rock at Bandstand. They admire the setting sun and share a spicy, tangy bhutta. The corn seeds are as fresh as the love blooming in their hearts. And the chat masala as hot as their blossoming passionate relationship.

“Tanya, get up, will you? It’s eight o’clock. Your brother’s friends will be here by 12. Cleaning, dusting, cooking and decorating there is a lot to do,” says Tanya’s mom, Sushila.
Tanya rolls on the bed, moves lazily like a drugged man. Looks at the fan rotate and smiles at the silliness of her dream.

“Tanya you have not moved an inch. At this rate we would be able to serve your brother’s friends tomorrow’s breakfast,” shouts Sushila.

Tanya gets up with a start and rushes to the bathroom. As she applies paste to her favourite pink toothbrush, all she could think of is her dream. Her dream date with Tarun, her elder brother’s best friend, who is expected to visit them for lunch today. She smiles and is happy with the memories of her dream. For her the dream is more real than reality itself.

She then washes her mouth and slaps water on her face. As she wipes her face and forehead, she remembers the kiss – her first kiss. The kiss that made her feel close to him. The kiss that helped her feel his breath.

“Tanya are you still in the bathroom. When will you get ready?,” yells her mom from the kitchen.

She just decides to hurry and goes to her room to fetch her towel. She dresses up in her newest jeans and finest top. For her this day was no less than an occasion. A day not less than her birthday. After all, Tarun was coming home.

Unlike any other day, Tanya helped her mom with all the household chores. She cooked. Helped her make spinach pasta, as Tarun relished any spinach preparation.

The clock struck 11. She could not wait any longer. If she could have her way, she would manually adjust the clock to 12. But she knew that would not help. In midst of helping her mother, she did not miss any chance of looking at herself in the mirror. She wanted to look her best.

And the doorbell rang. She just did not have the courage to open the door. The bell rang again. “Tanya, why do not you open the door. I am in the kitchen,” says her mom, as she was taking out some hot spring rolls from the frying pan.

She then musters all her courage and opens the door. Her brother says, “All my other friends are here. Tarun would not be joining us. He was unwell and so he did not come to school today.”

A shattered Tanya smiled. All she could do is be happy with the dream where Tarun loved her as much as she did!

‘Don’t worry be happy!’

Picture this: An unemployed girl gets a job in one of the biggest organisations and her job profile fits her interests. The work is just right, not to hectic, not too lax. People in the organisation are good enough, of the same age group and very much like her. But the girl is not happy!

The girl is not the only one feeling this. Everyone the girl meets or interacts with is unhappy with his or her job. For some the money is less, for some the bosses are barbaric and for some other unfortunate souls, they do not even know why they are unhappy!

There is something terribly missing in life. Dropping in the near by mall or watching a movie is helping people buy happiness, but only for sometime. After a few hours the ‘empty’ feeling returns and haunts people. When they look back, everything seems fine but still they know something is terribly wrong somewhere.

I guess the age-old saying happiness is like a mirage is true. As soon as people get closer to their dream, they realise this is not what they had asked for. For instance, when people look at a skirt, they love it and feel happy wearing it. But the moment they pay for it and get it home, the happiness fizzles out. And this is not applicable for clothes alone, but to other important things in life, like relationships and career choices as well. People constantly feel that this dark unhappy feeling is following them like a shadow - something that is constantly with them and something they will never be able to chide away. The ill feeling seems to return as soon as they snatch a good laugh with a friend or are out after watching a fabulous movie.

Talks with close friends reveal that this is ‘just a stage’ and that it will pass soon. So all they can do till then is WAIT patiently (we hope not endlessly). But till they are able to say goodbye to this ugly stage of life, all of them can motivate themselves by saying don’t worry be happy!

Welcome Back Tushku

The countdown has begun. Three, two, one and … he will be here after five long years. One of my best friends and a person whom I love like crazy. I am talking about my elder brother, Aditya Khanna whom we fondly call Tushku!

When I sit back and think about him all I can remember is the fights we had over chocolates, the way his eyes would pop out as he would scream at me each time I cried in school, the way we would hide each other’s answer sheets when we scored less marks, his best friend Gopal telling me about his first crush and how I just could not identify with anything he said and the last time he came home with his locks covering 3/4th of his face and the way he would get up each morning and prepare for the marathon.

When we were growing up I always felt that life has been unfair to me as my brother was gifted with all that I did not have. He was far more intelligent, would never flunk (unlike me who would keep failing in mathematics every now and then), was smart, opiniated, a teacher’s pet and a complete mama’s boy. There was a time when I envied him and felt that it would have been better if I never had him in my life. But once he moved out of home i.e. when he left for MUWCI, I realised how much I loved him. Suddenly I felt that somebody so important was missing from my life. I had to learn to live life without him. Suddenly there was nobody to make nimbu paani (a special preparation which he made with double the sugar required in the drink and merrily left the lemon seeds floating in the water) for me, teach me those boring history and geography lessons and tell me how I should deal with situations.

Though I know he is coming home only to go back again I just can’t contain my happiness.

Sweet Adieu

Finally the day arrived. The day I dreaded. The day I never wanted to see. Today morning – he called up and said ‘I am getting married and hence …’. Though I somewhere knew this was to happen some day or the other, the way it happened is disturbing. He did not even have the guts to tell me this clearly. To add on he also said ‘Even I am feeling bad but when I heard what mummy was trying to say, I thought she was right.’

So a telephone conversation brought an end to everything. I saw my dreams of being his bride fall like a pack of cards. I had no option but to hang up as any amount of arguing or explaining would not work.

To be honest I still can’t hate him. I am not a saint and nor a big believer in concepts like ‘unconditional love’. I am going to miss him. And all that happened between us - the long telephonic conversations, the dates, the gifts, the ten thousand ways of saying ‘I love you’ and the cute little journey back home. The moments we spent together are truly one of the most cherished memories of my life.

It’s strange how a five minute conversation has made me his past. But the sooner I accept it, the better it is. After making a promise to myself - I shall never cry for him, I am now thinking how I could move on. From changing my passwords, to my habit of scribbling our names together on the last page of my note pad, thinking of how I could fit into his family, etc I shall conserve all my energies for my second love (now my only love) and that is writing.

The long wait…

I am tired. Tired of looking for a good job, sending job applications, going for interviews wearing that perfect smile and ‘you need me more than me’ attitude, waiting forthe phone to ring and crack a good deal with my new employer, striving hard to write well, tired of trying to carve a niche for myself. I know success that comes instantly does not stay long, but hey how much do I have to wait for the day to come! When I close my eyes and think I don’t see myself any different from a patch of land without a single drop of water. Frustration, anger and irritation seem to be my constant companions. Will I ever, ever be a goodwriter? Or did I get my first good job purely because of what we call ‘beginner’s luck’? I guess time will tell …

All about Shaadi Se Pehle

As I wonder or rather ponder as to what I should begin blogging with, I finalise with the film review of Shaadi Se Pehle, the movie I saw last night. Though I confess that this is not the perfect subject for launching me as a writer (something that I want to do in life!), the urgency to start blogging forces me to do so.

Well getting back to the subject, Shaadi Se Pehle has a run-of-the-mill story. Akshaye Khanna and Ayesha Takia are happily engaged until Akshaye overhears his doctor’s (Boman Irani) conversation with another doctor and assumes that he suffers from cancer. In an attempt to make Ayesha hate him, (as he knows once she discovers this she will still marry him), he pretends he is attracted to Mallika Sherawat. After many melodramatic scenes with Mallika and a suicide attempt realizes, Akshaye realises he truly loves Ayesha and Mallika sacrifices her ‘true’ love for him.

So now that you have heard that the story, you’d realize that it has nothing new to offer. But I have yet another bad news to break. The movie is not even packaged well. Apart from a few good scenes here and there like the crematorium scene and the scene where Akshaye is trying to get a job, the movie is quite boring. Besides good actors like Boman, Gulshan Grover and Mita Vashisth have not got a substantial roles to showcase their talent. Also the music is not captivating. Looks like Subhash Ghai has lost his sense of what will work with audiences.

But there were a few surprise elements in the movie that are worth a mention. For instance, Rajpal Yadav’s shaiyari and Boman Irani’s Parsi dialogues. Though the two are brilliant in the movie but I am sure they won’t be successful in saving the movie.